Today I was sworn in as Kevin’s Legal Guardian. Yes, I
actually put my hand on a bible during the process. I had two choices for being sworn in and I chose
to have it done on the bible. I cannot describe
to you how it felt to have my son declared Incompetent. I know I’ll hear a lot of “You did the right
thing for him” and so on, but that is not what I’m talking about. I know I did the right thing for him. Kevin can’t make decisions about medical
care, educational choices and in the future choices for after school
programs. Some people feel a sense of
loss when they find out that they have an Autism child. I didn't only because one of the first things
his doctor said to us was “He can be taught”.
I thought okay that’s something to build on. I never thought at that time that I’d have
him declared incompetent. During the
hearing I never gave any of it a thought until the very end when the Judge said
yes he will be declared incompetent.
That brought tears to my eyes.
Thankfully, the Judge also recognized and remarked on how hard it is for
a parent to make this decision. It was
hard to come to terms with. Kevin’s
father and I discussed it months before he passed away. He knew that the term incompetent really
bothered me and I think he understood how I felt about it.
Why did I do it you ask, well let me tell you. If you have a child that is handicapped like
Kevin and when they turn 18 then you will not be able to make any of the
decision for him or her. As it is I've
been working with his Doctors and Case Workers for so long now that they have
looked to me for answers to their questions without thought. They know he can’t answer them, but one of
these days I would have hit a brick wall without that document. I was very lucky to have someone as my legal representative
and to guide me through the process.
Yes, you can do it on your own, but it will take longer and as I found
out you will make mistakes on the paperwork.
I tried to address this myself at first, but in the end after feeling so
much stress with the emotions of the process I opted to have someone help
me. There are some things you will be
asked to present to prove their incompetency.
For Kevin it was reports from his doctors showing that he is in fact
Autistic. The other was his IEP plan
(Individualized Education Program). I
also had a report from a test that showed Kevin’s abilities levels. The one thing I just happened to have with me
was his social security number. I needed
it for the last form I filled out before being sworn in. That is something I never carry with me and I
just decided at the last minute to put it in my wallet. Kevin himself had a representative appointed by
the court and she came by the house to interview me and meet Kevin. At the end of my meeting she asked me for
documents from his doctor’s and his IEP. I was not prepared for that. We had just torn our office apart to remodel
it (hopefully to make it a little more functional) and I had no idea where that
stuff was at the time. It took me a
minute or two to dig them out and make copies for her to take with her, so be
prepared when someone comes to the house to represent your child.
All of that is behind us now and we are off on a new
adventure. We are going to visit my
sister and her family in Florida. We can’t
wait! It’s time for a few minutes of
R&R, if you ask me. Where did July
go, anyway? I barely remember the 4th
of July. I remember going to Michele’s
and watching Kevin & Dylan bond once again.
Okay that put a smile on my face just now. Then Garrett and Dylan did a little golfing
in the backyard. Okay, it may have been
a little on the put-put side of golf, but they had fun. Let’s not forget Cole. Kevin thought he was something, which didn't
surprise me. Kevin likes babies, but
Cole is getting to be more of a toddler now days. These kids are growing on us fast! I almost forgot! Yes, I am still Gluten Free myself. Best thing I ever did for myself.
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| Garrett and Dylan |
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| Kevin and Dylan |
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| Little Man Cole |
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